Since last week, i found that there are much things i don't know about myself that is my blind self.
last Monday i have a dinner with my leaders and friends. After end, i went to mamak with my dear buddy. I can't imagine that we can talk for 2hours+ with just a cup of 'TehTarik' . in that 2 hours i found my blind self which actually i found it. When he told me that i am a self protective person i have a shock. For years i never realize that. How self protective i am? For example, when i do something wrong, i won't say the word sorry but just argue. If people tell me my weakness i will just say no, i am not.
However, since that day i found that it is really true. Most of the time we can't see ourselves or know ourselves in absolute. We can only know ourselves through others eyes.Someone who is very close to us may know us better than we know ourselves.However, we need someone to tell us, and to direct our behavior. A person who is direct to us is the true friend of us. They tell us because they care.
So, don't be disappointed or angry with those who direct to us but appreciate them with true heart. If a person who is really care about us will not just let us stay in the past because we must grow in everyday every moment to make our life more fruitful and multiply !

david

A few days ago, I was on my way back to my hometown,Seremban. I was travelling by train and it was really packed. That is when I met an interesting character. He was a blind man.Once he entered into the train, he started shouting at everyone in the train. He said that people are so inconsiderate and they should have let him enter the train first. Then he went and stood in front of a seat where someone was sitting and demanded the person to get up, so that he can sit.



After that, he just started talking loudly about the ineffeciency of the train system in Malaysia. When the train was nearing a stop called Batang Benar, he asked loudly to the people sitting in the train whether if anyone could help him with something. No one answered at first and then a Malay lady who was sitting beside me answered him in Malay. The thing was,the man without appreciating her, asked her why she was speaking in Malay and not in English. He continued asking her whether if she was shy to speak in English. The lady became angry but then she controlled herself and asked him back in fluent English what was wrong in speaking in Malay. Then the man said “ Wow, your English is good!” and the lady said “ Well, I am a English lecturer in Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia(UKM)”.


From this incident, I understood that there were differences between people with disabilities and that they all hadindividual characteristics because the disabled people that I had met so far were all very quite, polite and did not demand things. Nevertheless, it was definitely an interesting encounter for me.

Posted by : A.Padmassini A/P V.Anand

Be Yourself

I was in the bus the other day, there were a few children in the bus and they were playing happily. The kids were laughing loudly and one of the boys was trying to hang like a monkey from the bar above. The other people in the bus were just looking at the kids and laughed at their antics. Then, I wondered what if an adult or someone around my age had acted like them? The people would have been staring at the latter as if they had gone mad or they would be thinking what is wrong with these people, they have no manners or they are so immatured.



This is what I do not understand because things that we were able to do when we were young, if we do it now it is not accepted. Why can’t we be ourselves? Why do we have to carry a different image when we are at home and when we are outside? Why can’t we be the same wherever we go? I once saw a movie where the heroin in the movie was a bubbly and naive person. She acted the same at home and outside. So when she was outside people looked at her like she was a weirdo or something.


My opinion is that people should be the same wherever they are. What is there to hide? Well, I think it is easier said than done I guess. Nevertheless, its not wrong to be who we are when we are out there.

Posted by : A.Padmassini A/P V.Anand

OFFICE ROMANCES

Workplace dating or office romances have become very popular nowadays. This is because majority of the people meet at their workplaces. When good romantic relationships are built, eventually, marriages may take place. However, there are pros and cons of office romances which should be considered.

ADVANTAGES OF OFFICE ROMANCES

• Great place to meet - working environments have become very hectic. So, it is not possible to meet your date 'out there.' Hence, your workplace would definitely be the best place for you to meet you partner.

• Relationship becomes stronger - when more meetings take place frequently, the relationship between your partner and you would become much stronger.

• Having a helping hand during stressful times - when a lot of work is to be done,your colleagues would also equally have their own work to do. But, if you have workmate whom you are dating, I ma sure she or he would be more than happy to lend you a helping hand during those stressful moments.

DISADVANTAGES OS OFFICE ROMANCES

• Subject of idle gossip - If you are in a relationship at your workplace, people around you would start gossiping about you, thus creating rumours about your partner and you. If possible, try to make your relationship more open rather than keeping it a secret.

• Bored of each other - Although meeting each other frequently can enhance your relationship, but sometimes, you just need a break and your own space. It may also kill the little of the romance as you would miss out on the excitement of waiting to see your partner at the end of the day.

• Breaking up is hard - If your relationship has to come to an end, it can be disastrous at your working place. This is because you would have to see the person whom you loved in the past everyday. This would definitely create an unhappy working environment not only for you, but for your partner as well.

posted by : MITHRAH KURHANDRAN

SO, IF I WERE YOU, I WOULD DEFINITELY GET A MULTIPURPOSE BAG AS SOON AS POSSIBLE IN ORDER TO MAKE LIFE MUCH EASIER :)

This quote was actually taken from a persuasive speech. It was the quote by the speaker who was trying to persuade the audience to buy her newly created multipurpose bag. A persuasive speech serves a purpose and the purpose of a persuasive speech is to change a person's mind or behaviour about something. Believe me, its not an EASY thing to do. A persuasive speech is not just simply presenting your arguement, but you actually have to persuade the audience to change their minds.

In order to deliver a good persuasive speech, here are some tips to help you :-

• Be passionate when you are delivering your speech. Show the audience that you really care about what you are talking ; this would convince them.

• Keep your speech short and easy to remember. Don't forget to include statistics, references as well as examples to make your speech much more effective.

• Think of your audience and comprehensive ways to get their attention.

• Practice your speech a couple of times before delivering your actual speech. As mentioned above, persuading someone is not an easy thing.

• Dress appropriately as your dressing also communicates a message about your speech and what you are trying to talk about.

• Maintain eye contact with your audience and include body movements and also gestures.

posted by : MITHRAH KURHANDRAN

Language and understanding it.

Today, my family and I were sitting in the living room having random conversations. Suddenly, my aunt was talking about someone she knows who has just gotten his degree. She mentioned that his English was so poor, that when someone asked him to take a seat, he really took up the seat. At that moment I was already rolling on the floor laughing. She also mentioned that the degree graduate was filling an application and he didn't know that sex has two meanings, so he filled in NO EXPERIENCE. That was the funniest thing ever. Poor guy, I'm sure there were some people who were embarrassed. Another situation she talked about was this foreign guy who was at the bakery. After getting the things he wanted, he went up to the cashier and said this bread take away, and this one stay. What he meant was, he wants to eat the bread straightaway. So, you see sometimes understanding a language is very important, because we wouldn't want to be embarrassed in public.

by Jillian Cheong Ping Ling

Oh gosh!! today i buy my coke from McD and went to the mamak stall which is Ali's friend, Dinar. There are so much food there makes me feel like wanna eat although in fasting.
Some of the food only serve when you need it and there are so much people buying their meal there. Because in fasting, i just drink my coke then my friend decide to has his meal from Dinar rather than McD. So, he bought it. Nasi dengan two flavor of chicken. He is so exciting to has his lunch when he is choosing. After he bungkus his meal, he is so sick when he come out and make us wandering what happen to him.  
You know what happen?? It is because of the price, about Rm10+ for a pack of rice. Oh goodness, what is that ??!!
I can't imagine that mamak stall rice is more expensive than others. However, by this case it may influences us and result us not willing to their stall maybe.
One people tell, then sure it will continue to others and may be affected their business one day. That is way business been affected by just a conversation sometimes.

L

Love is a unique thing and this world can survive because of love. Love built up this world. Everyone need it in daily live. In my opinion, i not really agree to have a relationship when we were in secondary or high school. Maybe that is because i strongly disagree sex before marriage. Guys are people who easy to fall in that because the desire is stronger. However, another reason is because that if you just fooling in the relationship, don't waste others and waste your time. There are some relationship which are mostly no result at the end. First is that they stay together because of  admiration. This type of relation won't have a result. Until a certain time your admiration will disappear and so far it is not a true love but admiration. Second is because of pity. Do not fall in a relation because of pity. You may give he/she a hand when they are need but have a relationship because of pity it may not comes out a good result but you will feel pain.Next is appearance, most of us just love other appearance that is why break up happen so often and fall in depression. Know the person well and deep before we decide to stay together. That is why most of the time our husband or wife is somebody who is just beside you.

David
 

24 hours a day is not enough?

Have you ever thought that a day consists of 24 hours sometimes are never enough? Especially when your day is extremely hectic. We go to class,work or social and the day passes even fast when we tend to enjoy or stress the situation.

For 24 hours, seems like there's never enough for social communication between a person's circle of networks.
For an instance, going to college might take half of your day doing assignments, attending lectures and ''lepaking'' around seems to be it. But right after those are finished, there goes nightlife, dinner, parties, clubbing and many activities as well, for the most part, we are entitled of limited time for those activities. People probably spend time partially on each and some even choose to attend or not to attend.

At times like this, sometimes i do think that 24 hours is not enough, perhaps for couple of days and that happens when assignment deadline are near but doing everything is nearly impossible.

Gaming, Clubbing, Movies, Shopping, Family are parts that revolves around our lives. Come to think of it, time passes very fast when our day is spent productively and we feel satisfied.

For people that has a lot of friends, they tend to get distracted easily and skip classes usually due to the fact that outings is equal to having fun but come to think of it, time management should be accounted for if your life is so ''happening''.

As we grow up, more thing we should take into consideration because more responsibility are put unto us and we should make life as interesting,fun and enjoyable as how we would want it to be and use time appropriately for beneficial activities.

Cheers!

Posted by : Tan Kah Fei

A song has its own message

This is a song from Taylor Swift, it's called You Belong With Me.

The message of this song is pretty clear from the lyrics itself.

It is about a boy being with the wrong girl where she doesn't get his jokes and she doesn't understand him entirely. Based on the music video, the girl is just another typical girl. She's the cheer captain, she has fancy cars and she wears fancy clothes. However, the boy was supposed to be with Taylor Swift in this video. That's the reason why she sings this to him. Taylor is the right girl for him and she understands the boy. The boy didn't see that Taylor was there all along, that she is the one. I guess that is what this phrase means "If you could see that I'm the one who understands you, been here all along so why can't you see, you belong with me". In the end, the boy broke up with the girl and ended up with Taylor. Taylor is completely head over heels for this boy and they both are in love with each other.

Posted by : Maisara Manja Bt Kamaruzzaman

There is no relationship without conflicts

Every relationship has to have conflicts, whether it is a friendship, family relationships ( e.g : mother - daughter ) or others. Now, why should we have conflicts in a relationship? Isn't conflict a bad thing? Well, every relationship has to have conflict as it is a part of life. Conflicts are not neccesarily bad, it eithers strengthens or weakens your bond with your loved ones. Conflicts may lead to deeper understanding, respect and others. On the other hand, it can also cause many problems which may later result in separation or divorce.


Always remember, to solve a conflict, both parties have to be in their right state of mind. Always be equal when you resolve a poblem. The word "equal" here means that both parties have to admit their mistakes and look at the particular problem from different angles, not just look at it from one side. Besides, if you are not in a good mood at that particular time, relax first. Then, deal with the poblem. Also, always respect your partner. Be honest as you must create a mutual understanding in order to resolve the problem. Last but not least, NEVER have a negative attitude as in NEVER HAVE THE ATTITUDE OF ALWAYS WINNING as it can destroy your relaionship.


Lets see how you can resolve conflicts in a relationship :

• IDENTIFY THE ISSUE
• GENERATE POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS
• DECIDE ON THE BEST SOLUTION
• IMPLEMENT THE SOLUTION, don't just leave it .
• FOLLOW UP EVALUATION ( always ask your partner if the solution is working is not)

To conclude, as mentioned above, every relationship must have conflicts in order to know your loved ones better, improve one's weaknesses and to strengthen your bonds. But remember, your conflicts with your loved ones will only be resolved if both or all parties stay TRUE to themselves.

posted by : MITHRAH KURHANDRAN 

Conflicts

People usually avoid getting into arguments or quarrels with another person but sometimes some people are pushed to their limits or they just happen to be hot tempered so they end up getting into quarrels. Some people like to use their age; that is, if they are older than the other person they use their so called experience or their superiority to make the other person shut up. It is also a common thing that when people are angry they do not listen to other people’s views and especially men, tend to get agressive; either by shouting or getting physical.



Besides this, people who are drunk also tend to get into fights more often than people who do not drink liquor. This is because when they are drunk, their body metabolism and their ability to understand things rationally is badly affected. I was told that in the olden days, during the British administration in Malaya the Indian workers who worked in the rubber estate were given cheap liquor. So when these workers were drunk enough and came back home; their wives and children were subjected to beating by them. I do not understand why they did it but the only rational explanation would be that it was the liquor which caused them to act thus.


Though it is said that in a relationship occasional conflicts are necessary, when the conflict is not solved or gets out of hand; then, the situation gets ugly. The people involved in the relationship may decide to separate and go their own ways. In the case of boyfriend and girlfriend, this separation will cause them heartache but no one else will be affected by it. Whereas if it is a married couple, their separation will have a great effect on their children. People do not realize that divorces can psychologically affect a child’s mind. I have a friend whose parents are divorced and the mother married someone else and the father married someone else too. Thankfully, my friend was practically brought up by her grandmother, so she got sufficient love and affection that she needed. However, sometimes she does feel a bit empty and neglected when she thinks about her parents.


In short, I think that it is best to avoid conflicts, unless both the parties are willing to solve it by understanding each other’s needs and wants. It might take time but it should be done before it is too late.

Posted by : A.Padmassini A/P V.Anand

Attractions - Relationships

What attracts us to a person? Other than a person’s physical attractiveness, people are also attracted by the personality of a person. First impressions are usually taken into account when we want to make a judgement about a person’s characteristics or behavior. First impressions can come in handy at times but most of the time the inference that we make from these impressions can be wrong. It all depends on the situation at that time. Hence, it is always best for us not to jump to conclusions about a person from our first impressions.



Apart from that, we will be attracted to a person if the person has the same interest or hobby as ours. These days this type of attractions usually end up as separates; that is, the two people cohabit and are not married but they enjoy being in the company of each other. Besides this, we will always like to be around people who are encouraging and motivating because this helps us to increase our self-esteem and self-confidence. We will have an increased sense of well-being. Thus, this can also cause us to be attracted to the person.


For teenagers, it is often said that the attraction that they have to the opposite sex is not true love but infactuation. This is proven true most of the time by the short lived relationships. It is a common thing that can be seen these days in schools where some students like to change their partners like they are changing clothes. I knew a classmate whose aim was to date as many girls as possible so that he can give the best when he finds his true soulmate ( I still do not get his logic).


Another incident that I heard of was about this man who was so into marrying this girl. What he liked the most about the girl was her outspoken and blunt way of saying things. So he got the permission of the girl’s parents and married her. Things were going on okay with the couple and they even had a son. After 5 years of marriage, I do not know what exactly happened but all I know is that he refused to live with the girl because of the same characteristics that he liked her for. He just left the girl with the child and went somewhere with only a phone call saying that he cannot live with her anymore.


This proves that people change, some for the better and some for the worst. The one thing that I do not understand is that how a person could like some characteristics of someone and a few years later end up hating that someone for that very same characteristics. I can only say that I need more experience in relationships for me to make a judgement about this incident.

Posted by : A.Padmassini A/P V.Anand

Interpersonal Attraction

Interpersonal attraction is a category under attraction and is defined as the attraction between people which can lead to friendships or romantic relationships. Interpersonal relationship is related to how much we like, love, dislike or hate someone. There are actually many factors leading to this type of attraction :-

• PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS - perception of the physical traits of an individual human person. It has a significant effect on how people are valued in terms of their social behaviour and others.

• PROPINQUITY - refers to physical or psychological proximity between two people. Foe example, two people studying in the same classroom will have a higher propinquity than those stdying in the same college.

• COMPLEMENTARITY - people seek others and characteristics that are different from nd complement their own. (opposites attract )

• SIMILARITY - similarity comes in different aspects and may include attitude, personality, interests, social skills and others.

POSTED BY : MITHRAH KURHANDRAN

Technologies can create damages

In my opinion, the new Bruce Willis's movie, Surrogates, was not so bad. The movie is about people are living their lives remotely from the safety of their own homes via robotic surrogates. It's an ideal world where crime, pain, fear and consequences don't exist. When the first murder in years jolts this utopia, FBI agent Greer (Bruce Willis) discovers a conspiracy behind the surrogate phenomenon and must abandon his own surrogate, risking his life to solve the mystery. It's like you have a twin who does all you daily activities while you sitting at home controlling the surrogate's mind. This surrogate of you can be physically different than you where your surrogate is sexy, handsome, beautiful and has the most perfect mechanical representations of themselves.

I found some of the scenes are quite amusing. But I don't want to spill everything about the movie here. You should go and watch it. It was entertaininglah, haha. Anyway, the most important message of the movie is that technologies can cause a lot of damages. Having a robot living in this world may sound engaging but it's going to be too complicated. Another message is that, you can't live a lie. You have to be true to yourself no matter what consequences are going to happen.

Posted by : Maisara Manja Bt Kamaruzzaman

Reality and Virtual

Hello!

Talking about personalities in virtual and reality. I find it quite contradicting though for some people.

I have friends who are absorbed into the virtual world and not really expressive in the reality. Sometimes it pisses me off seeing them not being sociable at all. Well, we got to understand that different people could express themselves in different ways.

As for me, i dont know why people find it hard to express themselves in reality but virtually in msn, friendster and facebook, they tend to be more open and friendly. Thanks to technology in this era, many people are able to interpret and express themselves through networking in the virtual world.

As an example, i have a friend who's very quiet in reality(stoner la lol) and he didnt talk much but when hes online, he would express himself in many manners. I would find it ''WOW'' but i would say it can be a bad thing to some people when they dont smile and keep a dull face, it makes them look like they're on drugs or something.

Of course at times, virtually expressed is a good thing than in reality like when we chat with our friends, we can hold them for a long time(not very long la) and we can start to think what to reply but as for reality, if a person who is bad at making jokes and breaking the ice, would make the environment awkward. Get what i mean? its kinda like a 50-50 thing.

Love and relationships now can be expressed through SMS-es,messages or even confessions. See how the world revolves with technology now. Some people like men with high-ego can express and apologize through phone and without even doing the awkward and cute face when apologizing.

Oh well, virtual and reality could actually be good and bad but i think being in reality is the best you can present yourself. The next thing you know, a quiet friend of your whos very expressive in virtual but not in reality is taking up communication courses. Till then, make use of reality and virtual to express yourself in creative manners! :D

Cheers!

Posted by : Tan Kah Fei

Body Language

Hello! lets talk about body language now. :D

Body language is very important in our daily routines in aspects of interpretation, stereotyping and many other perceptions as well.

The way we talk, respond and body movements could actually give thoughts to other people of who we are, or perhaps. Body language should be implanted on every people because it enables us to give better meanings and understandings when we are presenting, sending messages to the audiences.

Likewise, while we have conversations with out friends,lectuerers and people, we use gestures with our hands, head, facial expression and basically most of our body parts. For me, i realized and been told that whenever im really actively talking, i tend to shake my head lol. And it could be funny at times but well it aint a bad thing i would say.

If you think about it, just imagine a person speaks without using any body language? damn bored right? it would produce dullness and it would eventually might make the the environment more awkward and tense dont you think?

By using body languages, it creates friendly chemistry yet it shows professionalism and the way of interpreting words would be understood easier by other people. For those who want to be a public speaker, convincing the audience of what you thought would need body languages as it shows your strength in words and expressions as well.

But using body languages in wrong ways could lead misunderstandings such as guy standing with girl's stance would be bad as people would instantly see him/her as a fag or sissy. It actually shows a person's characteristics and personalities as well by using body and depending on how a person uses body language, it could tell how much level of presentation he/she able to present.

Body language is very important because it can represents many things also such as morality, understandings, professionalism and i think everyone needs it because as we get into the working field or the society, body language will become a very helpful asset.Till then, do not misused body language the wrong way. :D

Posted by : Tan Kah Fei

How to avoid awkward silences

We've all been there – it's happened to everyone. A date is going great, and you're really into this girl. Your thoughts are premature, but you think this might turn out to be a rewarding relationship. She seems to be enjoying herself, too.

Then there's a lull in the conversation. You panic, crack a bad joke, and it gets worse. The silence between you two is horrible, and suddenly, it's not a fun or exciting date… it's miserable, and she's bored.

What is she going to remember of the date? No your good conversation before that, the fact that you opened the door for her, or that the meal itself was wonderful.

She's going to remember the silence. The awkward, miserable, deal breaking silence that encompassed your date.

How can you avoid this mishap, and keep her wanting more of your company?

1. Watch the news before you leave

When you feel a lull in your conversation nearing, break the silence with commenting on something you heard, but keep it light – like the human interest story on the cute puppy pulled out of the well. A topic like the president, a war, or what the political parties over in the Middle East are doing isn't the best dinner talk.

If you don't have cable, you can surf the web and find some interesting stories. Not only will you look good because you stay on top of what's happening in the world, but you'll sound smart, too.

2. Learning to Listen makes more conversation.

Discover the joy of listening – and I mean really listening. If you learn to pay attention to your date, you'll find that you both make better conversation with each other.

Actively listen, and common on what she talks about. Women love to be listened to, and besides, you'll learn a lot more about your date than you would otherwise.

3. Take note of your surroundings

Take notice of what's around you, and what's going on. Pay attention to the people, the atmosphere, even the tables, and make comments on what's going on.

If it's something serious, like 'Didn't you just love that painting when we first came in?', or something light and easy, like 'Don't you just hate the rain? What's your favorite weather?'.

Not only will you have decent conversation that can lead places, but she'll be impressed that you're so observant. Women love a guy that pays attention to what's around him.

Posted by : Maisara Manja Bt Kamaruzzaman

Expresions

Expressions

Expression implies a revelation about the characteristics of a person, a message about something internal to the expresser. In the context of the face and nonverbal communication, expression usually implies a change of a visual pattern over time, but as a static painting can express a mood or capture a sentiment, so too the face can express relatively static characteristics

Facial Expressions

A simple smile can make others feel more at ease where a frown can make people see that you are aggressive or unsure of something. We use facial expressions to get our points across in the right context. For example, your message would suffer if you were saying how angry you are with a huge smile.


The concept of facial expression includes :

• a characteristic of a person that is represented, i.e., the signified;
• a visual configuration that represents this characteristic, i.e., the signifier;
• the physical basis of this appearance, or sign vehicle, e.g., the skin, muscle movements, fat, wrinkles, lines, blemishes, etc.; and
• typically, some person or other perceiver that perceives and interprets the signs.

Happy

Happy expressions are universally and easily recognized, and are interpreted as conveying messages related to enjoyment, pleasure, a positive disposition, and friendliness. Examples of happy expressions are the easiest of all emotions to find in photographs, and are readily produced by people on demand in the absence of any emotion. In fact, happy expressions may be practiced behaviors because they are used so often to hide other emotions and deceive or manipulate other people. Consider this point when viewing invariably smiling political figures and other celebrities on television. Detecting genuine happy expressions may be as valuable as producing good simulations.

Sad

Sad expressions are often conceived as opposite to happy ones, but this view is too simple, although the action of the mouth corners is opposite. Sad expressions convey messages related to loss, bereavement, discomfort, pain, helplessness, etc. Until recently, American culture contained a strong censure against public displays of sadness by men, which may account for the relative ease of finding pictures of sad expressions on female faces. A common sense view, shared by many psychologists, is that sad emotion faces are lower intensity forms of crying faces, which can be observed early in newborns, but differences noted between these two expressions challenge this view, though both are related to distress. Although weeping and tears are a common concomitant of sad expressions, tears are not indicative of any particular emotion, as in tears of joy.

Anger

Anger expressions are seen increasingly often in modern society, as daily stresses and frustrations underlying anger seem to increase, but the expectation of reprisals decrease with the higher sense of personal security. Anger is a primary concomitant of interpersonal aggression, and its expression conveys messages about hostility, opposition, and potential attack. Anger is a common response to anger expressions, thus creating a positive feedback loop and increasing the likelihood of dangerous conflict. Until recent times, a cultural prohibition on expression of anger by women, particularly uncontrolled rage expressions, created a distribution of anger expressions that differed between the sexes. The uncontrolled expression of rage exerts a toxic effect on the angry person, and chronic anger seems associated with certain patterns of behavior that correspond to unhealthy outcomes, such as Type A behavior. Although frequently associated with violence and destruction, anger is probably the most socially constructive emotion as it often underlies the efforts of individuals to shape societies into better, more just environments, and to resist the imposition of injustice and tyranny.

Fear

Fear expressions are not often seen in societies where good personal security is typical, because the imminent possibility of personal destruction, from interpersonal violence or impersonal dangers, is the primary elicitor of fear. Fear expressions convey information about imminent danger, a nearby threat, a disposition to flee, or likelihood of bodily harm. The specific objects that can elicit fear for any individual are varied. The experience of fear has an extremely negative felt quality, and is reduced, along with the bodily concommitants, when the threat has been avoided or has passed. Organization of behavior and cogitive functions are adversely affected during fear, as escape becomes the peremptory goal. Anxiety is related to fear, and may involve some of the same bodily responses, but is a longer term mood and the elicitors are not as immediate. Both are associated with unhealthy physical effects if prolonged.

Surprise

Surprise expressions are fleeting, and difficult to detect or record in real time. They almost always occur in response to events that are unanticipated, and they convey messages about something being unexpected, sudden, novel, or amazing. The brief surprise expression is often followed by other expressions that reveal emotion in response to the surprise feeling or to the object of surprise, emotions such as happiness or fear. For example, most of us have been surprised, perhaps intentionally, by people who appear suddenly or do something unexpected ("to scare you"), and elicit surprise, but if the person is a friend, a typical after-emotion is happiness; but if a stranger, fear. A surprise seems to act like a reset switch that shifts our attention. Surprise expressions occur far less often than people are disposed to say "that surprises me," etc., because in most cases, such phrases indicate a simile, not an emotion. Nevertheless, intellectual insights can elicit actual felt surprise and may spur scholarly achievements. Surprise is to be distinguished from startle, and their expressions are quite different.

How are you feeling today?

Posted by : Maisara Manja Bt Kamaruzzaman

GOTCHA!!!

          Sometimes, non-verbal messages contradict verbal messages. For example, you will be able to see if a person is lying or not just by looking at his or her body language. It is actually quite easy to detect whether a person is lying to you or not just by looking out for this signs in them :-

BODY LANGUAGE

• A person who lies will avoid eye contact.
• Constantly touching his face, mouth or throat.
• Scratching the nose or behind the ears.

INTERACTIONS AND REACTIONS

• A liar is uncomfortable facing his questioner and may turn his head away.
• A liar also gets ver deffensive if he is found guilty.

EMOTIONAL GESTURES

• Gestures and expressions don't match the verbal messages. For example, frowning when saying " I Love You."

VERBAL CONTEXT AND CONTENT

• A liar may leave out pronouns and speak in a monotonous tone.
• Liars sometimes avoid lying by making not making direct statements. They imply answers instead of directly denying something.

         To sum up, just because someone exhibits one or more of these signs does not mean that the person is lying. However, if you are suspecting a person and the person constantly tends to react in this manner, then, there are possibilities that the person is lying. Always remember, look out for a person's non-verbal movements when he or she is talking because it can actually convey a lot of messages to you.

by : MITHRAH KURHANDRAN

BODY ADORNMENT

          Body adornment is a cultural universal. This is said because most cultures have attempted to change their body in order to fulfill their cultural and construct of beuty, religious or social obligations. Body adornment is indeed a very broad subject. The type of body adornment that I would like to focus here is body piercings. Now, I am sure most of us have seen people with piercings all over their body. Many of us tend to have various impressions when we see someone with piercings all over theif face or body.
           When I started college early this year, I met this very unique girl during my orientation. She had piercings all over her face. She had a piercing on her eyebrow, on her upper lip, in between her nose, she had a couple of piercings on both sides of her ears and many more. In short, I would say that her face was full of piercings. I did not know what to say or how to react when I first met her. I was so shocked to meet a person like this on my first day of college. Not only that, she had also applied thick eye liner underneath her eyes. The first thing that struct my mind was, "Oh my God, is this child crazy???" Let me be honest here, I was a bit scared of her because to me, she was completely weird. Although I have met people with piercings on their face, but this was the first time I actually met someone with too many piercings on her face!!!
My only impression on her was I assumed that she was an arrogant person. But, to my surprise, as time passed, she was such a nice person. My impression was totally wrong.

         Now, the reason why I wrote about this is just to say that the way you dress, the type of jewelry you use, body piercings and tattoos communicate messages about you. For example, if you wear large precious stones on your ring or bracelet, it shows that you are rich. On the other hand, if you have short hair, it shows that you do not like styling your hair and you are a very simple person. Body piercings also communicate a variety of messages. Although people wearing such jewelry may wish to communicate positive meanings, those interpreting it may take it in a negative way. But, in certain cultures, it is a must to have piercings. In addition, tattoos communicate to the wearers themselves. Some people would like to have a tattoo of their loved ones or some of the would like to have a tattoo just for the sake of having it. However, having tattos and too many body piercings may result in health problems too.

          The pictures show a few examples of different types of body adornments. To conclude, it is not right neither wrong to have body adornments. But, always remember, the way you dress, the type of jewelry you wear, the way you speak and carry yourself communicates various messages about you.

by : MITHRAH KURHANDRAN

Body Languages

Body language is the most essential part of a conversation that is it not only strengthens our verbal messages but it also gives the most impact to what we are saying in our conversation. It is a fact that people’s body language can convey a lot about them if they are observed carefully. This is because the body does not know how to lie. It is also usually said that our eyes is the mirror that reflects our thoughts. Unfortunately, despite all this, body movements are often misinterpreted by people. Hence, it is advisable that we learn some basic rules that can be followed to prevent misunderstandings in our daily lifes as much as possible.

The 3 most basic rules are:

1. To always read gestures in clusters

 Gesture clusters are like ‘sentences’ that need at least two or three gestures or words

 This will reveal exactly what the other person is trying to say

2. To look for congruence

 This happens when a person’s words and body language matches each other

 This observation lets us know the person’s state of mind

3. To see the context in which the gestures are made

 Context in here means the external environment

 The gesture clusters are related and influenced by the external environment

Besides that, we can also learn some basic tips for possesing attractive body languages that can be used correctly and effectively in our conversations to make the right impressions.

The basic tips are:

a) Eye contact - We should not make people uncomfortable by staring at them for too long or make them think we are uneasy by totally avoiding eye contact

b) Posture - We should lean forward when listening and stand straight while speaking

c) Shaking hands – We should not squeeze too hard or hold the other person’s hand limply but try to give as much pressure as the other person exerts

d) Head movement – Some positive movements are to nod the head while talking and to tilt it when listening

e) Territory – We should neither stand too close nor too far while talking with people, especially strangers

In a nutshell, body languages are vital for us as “ Actions speak louder than words”.

Posted by: A. Padmassini A/P V.Anand

Friends

There are many types of ships such as wooden ships, plastic ships and metal ships but the best ships that can ever be made are Friendships. When we have problems, who do we confide or pour out our hearts to? Of course to our friends. Well if you are ask me what friends mean to me, I would definitely say that they mean the world to me.

We can have many friends but the majority of them would be just “Hi” , “Bye” friends. This is because it is not easy to find true friends that we click with instantly. There can be a variety of factors drawing people to click and not click with each other but the beautiful thing is when we do click with someone it is next to impossible to forget them no matter how distanced we are. People say that in each stage of our lifes we make new friends and old friends are forgotten as time goes by. I strongly disagree with this because it is our responsibility to keep in touch with friends and not let time take our friends away. But now thanks to the advancement of technology in the field of communication, I think we shall have no more excuses to not to keep in touch with friends.

How do we know that that someone is a true friend? Well true friends would be at our side during our good and bad times trying to make us feel better all the time. They will never demotivate us but constantly try to increase our self-esteem. We can trust them as our secrets we tell them will go with them to their graves. Besides that, they will not only never back stab us but also accept us for who we are. In addition, true friends will become somewhat a part of our family and they will freely make our homes as their homes.

Sometimes we may have some misunderstandings and quarrels with our friends. These are the times when we have to sit and think where we went wrong, and did we understand their feelings properly. Though it may not have been our fault it is never wrong to go and say sorry to our friends. We may not know what our friends are going through if we do not ask them because some friends will not tell their problems with the thought that they do not want to make us feel sad or worried about them.

In conclusion, the most ideal type of friendship would be friendship of reciprocity and having one is the greatest gift we are giving ourselves.

Posted by: A.Padmassini A/P V.Anand

Listen to yourself

Listen to the words inside and outside to oneself is quite important that is what i found it in my life.
Before i communicate , i will try to listen to myself, what actually i thinking. What will happen when i speak it out. It is such like intra-personal communication. When do it i may avoid many misunderstanding among friends. It is also a good way which let you think critically.
On the other hand, outside self listening is like when you speak, listen to what you have said. While talking, listen so that you may cut down the chances of building ice. Why we talk recent? talking is a way of ice breaking, so let learn to listen to ourselves when speaking. Some-more, think while speaking , try not to build spaces when you are leading a team and to stir up their heart on doing something.

David